*Avoid reassuring the person…When you attempt to reassure the insecure person, they will feel more anxious and stubborn. Instead of reassuring them, break the cycle by giving them direction to improve their self-esteem through positive proactive steps outside the circle of what causes their insecurity. If you continue to attempt to reassure them, they may become argumentative which will result in conflict between the two of you. Do not support this.
*Don’t offer direct suggestions for improvement as this can create resistance. You need to provide them with a positive focus outside their realm of insecurity to help them proactively change. If they are insecure about their body shape, do not suggest to them…”I know this great personal trainer”…they will resist. You must think outside of the box.
*Don’t validate insecure statements that they make, with either advice nor argument.
*A great way to help is to get the person to talk about their insecurities when they are not displaying evidence of acting insecure. When individuals are under significant stress, few can focus on ways to proactively change. When they are appearing confident, the opportunity arises to bring up the insecurity in a non-confrontational environment. When this happens progress can be made.
*Do not expect to solve the problem for them. Give then structure and guidance that will work for them. Remember…We cannot change others, we can only change ourselves….an Empowering thought to contemplate.
*Help them assess how they have lived their life in relationship to their values.
*Help them learn to let go of their mistakes…the past is what it is…just the past! We all have one. The important thing is to look back historically and learn.
*Guide them to write down goals that are achievable…a very key element. Do not guide them to set themselves up for failure. When they achieve these simple goals, they will start to feel Empowered within their own capacity. Encourage them to keep a journal of what their thoughts were at the time while working on the goals. What was the outcome? Guide them to assess their goals on a weekly basis. This gives them feedback to continue on the journey. It gives them a feeling of Accomplishment and Empowerment.
*Above all, if they can, get them to put even 1-2 hours per week working in some sort of charity. When you help others who are less fortunate than yourself, you become Empowered. You develop a confidence in yourself that is life changing…Empowering!
