As I have reflected on the earthquake in Haiti over the weekend, a number of thoughts have crossed my mind.  It has caused me to re-evaluate my perception of adversity.  Adversity for some can create a sense of despair while for others it can be the motivating factor to stand up and “push through“.  How do you relate to adversity?

The people of Haiti are in their darkest hour.  They have a long history of being resilient through dark days.  It is likely that this is the darkest hour they have experienced at any time in the history of their culture.  They will rise again.  Their resiliency will stand firm.

The question comes to mind again.  How do we as a culture respond to adversity?  How do we as individuals respond?  Do we rise up and meet the challenge head-on?  Or, do we allow ourselves to be overcome by grief, depression, & despair?  What makes you empowered?  What drives you?  When you see pictures of Haiti and all the tragedy that accompanies those pictures do you start to feel that your troubles and challenges are a bit trivial compared to what those people are facing now and for years to come?  Do you still allow your problems to overcome you…or does it make you empowered to the point that you will rise up and demand of yourself that you meet those challenges head-on and “push through”?

One method to support this comes about my involving yourself in some sort of charity.  The people of Haiti need all of our help right now.  A simple, safe, and effective way that you can help is by going to former president Bill Clinton’s Foundation.  There you can make a donation of any amount and it will be used directly to supply food, water, and medical supplies.

This spectacular, annual PGA event that raises thousands of dollars for Shriner’s children was blessed with near perfect weather during the entire tournament.

The Las Vegas weather was fantastic. The golf play was superb. There was the usual drama involving players as they attempted to position themselves for the final round on Sunday. The lead changed hands a number of times over the course of the four day event. Some of the more notable names who were in the hunt were Jim Furyk, Chad Campbell, Troy Matteson, Tom Pernice, Jr., George NcNeil, and Matt Kuchar.

On Sunday, things really began to heat up…not just the temperature either, which was in the 90’s. It came down to a double sudden death overtime, as there was a three-way tie for first place at the end of 18 holes of play. Chad Campbell, George McNeil, & Martin Laird.  Martin Laird had never won a PGA event.

They started on the 18th and tied again. So they went back to the 17th. On that hole, Campbell fell out leaving McNeil & Laird. They went to the 18th. On McNeil’s approach, his shot ended up on the hillside almost in the water, while Laird’s shot landed on the green. McNeil had to take off his shoes and socks for this one as he had to get into the water to be able to chip the ball. He managed to chip a great shot considering his lie. But Laird coolly putted out to win his first PGA event by one stroke. congratulations to Martin Laird for a great tournament.

Congratulations and a big thank-you to all the players, the PGA, the TPC Summerlin, and all the volunteers who participated to help the Shriners kids.

Are you a “doer?”  Do you have a charity that you support?   If not…get involved today.  Go to the Shriners website and learn about the amazing things that Shriners do. Plan to come support the JTShrinersopen golf tournament next year and get involved.  Be a “doer”.  It is empowering to say the least and you will be surprised how amazing it feels to involve yourself.

*Avoid reassuring the person…When you attempt to reassure the insecure person, they will feel more anxious and stubborn. Instead of reassuring them, break the cycle by giving them direction to improve their self-esteem through positive proactive steps outside the circle of what causes their insecurity. If you continue to attempt to reassure them, they may become argumentative which will result in conflict between the two of you. Do not support this.

*Don’t offer direct suggestions for improvement as this can create resistance. You need to provide them with a positive focus outside their realm of insecurity to help them proactively change. If they are insecure about their body shape, do not suggest to them…”I know this great personal trainer”…they will resist. You must think outside of the box.

*Don’t validate insecure statements that they make, with either advice nor argument.

*A great way to help is to get the person to talk about their insecurities when they are not displaying evidence of acting insecure. When individuals are under significant stress, few can focus on ways to proactively change. When they are appearing confident, the opportunity arises to bring up the insecurity in a non-confrontational environment. When this happens progress can be made.

*Do not expect to solve the problem for them. Give then structure and guidance that will work for them. Remember…We cannot change others, we can only change ourselves….an Empowering thought to contemplate.

*Help them assess how they have lived their life in relationship to their values.

*Help them learn to let go of their mistakes…the past is what it is…just the past! We all have one. The important thing is to look back historically and learn.

*Guide them to write down goals that are achievable…a very key element. Do not guide them to set themselves up for failure. When they achieve these simple goals, they will start to feel Empowered within their own capacity. Encourage them to keep a journal of what their thoughts were at the time while working on the goals. What was the outcome? Guide them to assess their goals on a weekly basis. This gives them feedback to continue on the journey. It gives them a feeling of Accomplishment and Empowerment.

*Above all, if they can, get them to put even 1-2 hours per week working in some sort of charity. When you help others who are less fortunate than yourself, you become Empowered. You develop a confidence in yourself that is life changing…Empowering!